Bob Feller and the dad who built a batting cage

The death of Baseball Hall of Famer Bob Feller yesterday is a sad occasion. Feller was the dominant pitcher of his day and a child prodigy. In his big-league debut, while on summer vacation from high school, he struck out 15 batters.

Today's obituary in the New York Times is a good read and reminds me that the present generation of parents is far from the first with big sports dreams for kids.

Check this, and the Feller interview below.

"Robert William Feller was born on Nov. 3, 1918, in Van Meter — population 300 — and grew up nearby on a farm where his father, Bill, devoted himself to hogs, wheat and corn, but most of all to raising a ballplayer.

"Bill Feller and his son listened to live broadcasts of Cubs games from Chicago and to re-creations on WHO Radio in Des Moines by a fledgling sportscaster named Ronald Reagan.

"The father played catch with his son, bought him a Rogers Hornsby model glove and a flannel baseball uniform, and built a batting cage. When Bob was 12, his father leveled pasture land to create a ballpark, complete with bleachers and scoreboard, and formed a team to showcase Bob against players in their late teens and 20s.

“My father loved baseball and he cultivated my talent,” Feller told Donald Honig in his 1975 oral history, “Baseball When the Grass Was Real.” “I don’t think he ever had any doubt in his mind that I would play professional baseball someday.”

To pursue a child's dream, how far would you go?

A hypothetical. You live in Turkey. You own a successful restaurant in Ankara. You make a comfortable living.

Your daughter begins skating. She's talented with the potential to be a champion, maybe an Olympian. But not if you remain in Turkey.

The way to nurture her ability is to move halfway around the world to Canada so she can be around the best skaters and coaches. You can't take your restaurant with you. Your friends and extended family either. You have limited command of English. So you're likely to end up in some menial job. A year after you arrive, your daughter might decide she really prefers to study the violin. She might meet a boy.

What would you do?

Tugba Karademir's father and mother moved. Last night,13 years later, she competed in the figure skating finals in Vancouver. Her goal was the top 10. She finished 24th.

Tugba's mom says, "It was a big decision. We never regretted it."

One game every season, no coaches or parents

In the Albany Times-Union, staff writer Mark McGuire makes a bold proposal. From McGuire's June 26 column:

"Every season, for at least one game, every recreational sports league for kids, say, ages 8-16 should play one adult-free game.

"No parents watching. No coaches/managers; captains run the teams. You can have refs/umps, or not. An adult not affiliated with either team could be on hand to help organize, or not. Kids would figure it out. Believe it or not, they can go out and play without you.

"You may not like the idea, but your child might."

Whether the mere presence of adults diminishes youth sports is a topic for another day, and possibly a doctoral thesis. We do some things that kids wouldn't, perhaps couldn't. Mostly safety stuff. Few 11-year-olds would wear batting helmets if not hectored by an adult. We share our experience, too. We can be good teachers, even mentors. On balance, though, I'd say we've deluded ourselves into believing that children at play need us far more than they do.

I also like McGuire's minimalist vision. Not just as it pertains to adults, but to all the stuff that surrounds sports for kids. This morning, I peered into my sons' bedrooms. Piled on shelves is a 12-year supply of ribbons, medals, plastic participation trophies. In many ways, less would have been more.

Youth sports and the guests who refuse to leave

In Until It Hurts, I refer to a "hostile takeover" of sports for kids by adult minders who invited themselves to the party long ago and, like annoying dinner guests, are the last to realize it's time to leave. How long ago did the problems begin? I write about it in this piece for the Pennsylvania Gazette, the alumni magazine of the University of Pennsylvania.

Real Sports seeks interviews with sports parents

HBO's Real Sports wants to speak with parents for an upcoming piece on youth sports. I'm passing on a note from the segment's producer, Amani Martin. (FYI: I do not work for HBO and am not involved in production of the story).

HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel is developing a story on the current climate in youth sports in which parents are increasingly invested in the athletic pursuits of their children. We’re looking for parents of children (ideally ages 3 through 10) who have invested large amounts of time, money, and energy into their children’s sporting activities. Ideally, you’re a parent whose investment in youth sports is connected to a hope that focusing on your children’s sports will one day lead to a college scholarship or pro career. The point of the piece is to illuminate the evolution in the seriousness of youth sports; this is not meant to be a judgmental story on parents’ decision-making on how to raise their children. Please contact: Amani Martin, Producer, Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. Direct line: (212) 512-1859. Collect calls will be accepted. Thank you very much.

Watching a child play sports, in eight words

Imagine your daughter is waving a baseball bat in the batter’s box with the tying runs on base. Or your son is poised on the starting blocks about to swim the anchor leg of the final meet of the season. Or…you get the idea.

As the mom or dad of the child in the spotlight, and on the hot seat, tell me when you’re feeling in your gut in eight words or fewer.

Cal Ripken Jr: "Return the game to the kids."

Another name - Cal Ripken Jr. - to add to our honor roll of pro athletes who speak out about over-the-top parents. Note the caution about cheering too much. It's a point well taken. As adults, we're doing the most at a sports game when we're doing the least.

Youth sports dysfunction, European-style

Once again, the subject is the global reach of youth sports dysfunction. Last week's bad example, Canada. This week's, Great Britain where "touchline dads" are a major headache.

This comes from the London Daily Telegraph.

"Right now, however, in the midst of the inquiry into England's inability to qualify for Euro 2008, the touchline dad has become more than a joke. He is being cited as one of the reasons for our failure to develop good young players. His overbearing presence, it is claimed, is sucking the joy out of the game, producing a generation of leather-lunged hackers, unable to express themselves through skill, brought up to believe the most important thing in football is to "get stuck in". And, indeed, in eight years managing my son's team I have witnessed some terrible things. The father who stepped on to the pitch, grabbed his under-performing son by the shirt front, lifted him off his feet and, spitting with rage, told him, nose-to-nose, that he would be getting it when he got home, was but one."

There is a strong back-to-sportsmanship movement in the UK, led by groups like Positive Coaching Scotland. There's much work to do, apparently.

Thank you, Doug Abrams.

"That call stinks! You stink!"

Little League Baseball's "You Make Me Sick" campaign still rates as the most effective, but this "That Call Stinks" ad brought to you by the Canadian Hockey Association is pretty good at turning the tables on abusive parents. Idea: Could we raise $3 million and air it during the Super Bowl?

The wisdom of Kelsey Twist and Wayne Gretzky

Former athletes - especially those who've played at the highest level - often are the best advocates for a saner, kid-centric approach to youth sports. When Wayne Gretzky advises parents to back off, let their children play for fun - as he did recently - adults tend to listen. Other pro athletes I have spoken with over the years - golfer Billy Andrade, baseball players Tommy John, Jim Poole, among them - have been equally outspoken.

Kelsey Twist played varsity lacrosse at Stanford, graduating a few years ago as one of the top players in school history. Now she teaches and coaches at a private school in Baltimore.

This op-ed written by Twist for the Baltimore Sun is an eloquent and disturbing statement of what has changed about youth sports - and the price of that change for young players.

Kelsey writes:

"While coaching, I often stop to consider my high school career at Roland Park Country School. I mostly remember face paint, spirit parades to Bryn Mawr, and tossing the ball around after practice until we couldn't see it any longer.

I do not remember stress fractures, personal trainers, lacrosse tournaments during basketball season, hiring a recruiting specialist to help me get into college, or paying outrageous dues to play on a club team.

I am left to ask: What happened to high school sports in the six years I've been gone? When did being a high school athlete become a job instead of a pastime?"

And Twist is writing about what, until recently, had been a regional and, in some respects, minor sport - lacrosse. Multiply by 10 and you are approaching the pressure on top high school basketball and football athletes.

The accelerated program

My friend, Bob Bigelow, predicts that the age of entry for youth sports will continue to drop until some league unveils a new division for...."padded pregnant women." He calls this new concept "pre-natal soccer." Amusing stuff. And, maybe, not so far-fetched.

While I continue my search for in utero sports leagues, I offer these close examples.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Peaceful Kwanzaa, everyone.

Exhibit A: Soccer in diapers

Exhibit B: Soccer for children not yet able to walk, stand or crawl.

An expensive dream come true

Here is a startling story of a kid with a sports dream and parents willing to spend almost anything to make it happen.

Greg and India Keith live in Charlotte. They don't seem to have been hit hard by the economic meltdown. Their son Cody is a 17-year-old quarterback with ambitions to play in college. Last season, Cody was the backup on his high school team with little chance to unseat the starter.

So this is what the Keiths did for their son.

They sent Cody to California to work with Steve Clarkson, a QB guru who grooms kids to become college and pro players - and charges $1,000 or more per lesson.

Then they scouted for a house near a high school that met a key criterion: it needed a quarterback. When they found one (a QB-deficient high school, that is), the Keiths rented their $2.8 million house in the old district, bought one in the new district for $737,500 and spent the fall watching their kid live his (and, I'm guessing, their) dream.

Read this - including reader comments. It's amazing.

Thanks to Gene Bratek for pointing out the story.

Cheerleading for beginners

My second favorite youth sports video of the week. Good weekend, everyone.

"You make me sick!"

A clever, direct and disturbing message to overly invested adults. Little League Baseball deserves much credit for coming up with this one, which apparently is reaching a large audience. Last time I checked Youtube - more than 540,000 views.

The rough side of youth football

The Indianapolis Star reported last week on a physician who was booted from his coaching post in a youth football league for allegedly kicking a player, causing the 8-year-old to suffer a bruised pelvis. The incident also cost the coach his real job with a local orthopedic group. Apparently it's tough treating young patients when the local newspaper is detailing how you might have kicked a kid.

The altercation (and media coverage) touched a very raw nerve. I'm sharing some of the emails about it that came to the Indy Star Web site. None of the writers attempts to justify what the coach did. But some argue that public reaction is overblown. My point: Is there a single kid on this team who will want to play football next year?

Comments:

"It must not have been that hard as the child finished the practice and was able to play in the game the next day. I will say again I do not agree with the action, but the incident was over blown and used as an excuse to get rid of him."

"So are you saying that if it was YOUR child this man kicked in the pelvis, you would not have complained?"

"When will the Center Grove area realize that this isn't "West Texas" or "Friday Night Lights"...I am a coach and understand the importance of youth leagues and involvement...but kicking a child? Seriously? I heard of a situation recently in which a Center Grove youth coach was sneaking an earpiece into a defensive player's helment in a 5th/6th grade game....."

"I am sure you are a good mom and a nice lady, but with all due respect...you are part of the problem. YOu actually typed "it must not have been that hard". Are you serious?? Whether you think it was or wasnt "that hard"...the medical exam performed later declared that it was "that hard!!"

"Everyone of us has made a mistake from time to time. This man is actually a good person and I'm sure he'd like to take what happened back. No not because he lost his job or coaching postion but because it was a mistake."

"I am shocked and ashamed to see so many hurtful commits [sic] about an individual who has given so much to his community. Coach Flory had dedicated countless hours and "yes" generous donations to support the youth sports in our community."

Job One: Getting to a child's game

Here's my latest post on BusinessWeek's "Working Parents" blog. I'm writing about the great escapes that parents make from their jobs - slipping away at 5 o'clock, cutting short a business trip - to attend their kids' sports games. I mention my own dad and the amusing things he did to get to the Little League field on time. Check out the NPR story referred to in the post, in which I interview my dad about the years in which he dashed from work to play.

Overuse, burnout and parents

I'd like to see this posted in every high-school locker room and middle-school gym in America. It's a set of simple principles for preventing burnout and overuse injuries in kid athletes.

These guidelines are reasonable. They make good sense. Yet they're violated every day. Raise your hand if you've ever nudged your child over the line (Mine's up. For details, see page 27 of "Until It Hurts").

The following list comes from a report issued by the American Academy of Pediatrics titled "Overuse Injuries, Overtraining, and Burnout in Child and Adolescent Athletes."

-Young athletes should limit training in one sport to no more than five days a week, with at least one day off from any organized physical activity.

-Athletes should take time off from one sport for two to three months each year. Taking a break from a sport allows injuries to heal and the opportunity to work on strength training and conditioning to reduce the risk of future injuries.

-Weekly training time, number of repetitions, or total distance should not increase by more than 10 percent weekly.

-Focus of sports should be on fun, skill acquisition, safety and sportsmanship.

-Join only one team per season.

And rule No. 1.

-Getting caught up in making the professional leagues or Olympics is unrealistic. Children and adolescents train year-round on multiple teams of one sport often with the hope of earning a college scholarship in that sport or becoming a professional athlete, but less than 1 percent of high school athletes make it to the professional level.

Okay, hands down.

Small Ball, the movie

Movie critic is a role we usually leave to others. But a brief post today in praise of "Small Ball: A Little League Story."

This is a documentary, which first aired on PBS in 2004. (It's available on DVD. I picked it up at my public library). The filmmakers followed a talented Little League team from Aptos, California on an emotional eight-week journey that leads to the Little League World Series.

I found myself developing attachments to several of the kid players who take the games seriously, but for the most part not too seriously, especially slugger Tyler Raymond and catcher Drew McCauley. More interesting were the parents. They are a good group, wanting the best of the high-stakes experience for their kids. But they are emotionally invested to the max. One mom speaks of feeling ill from anxiety on the day of games. Others speak about the experience being more (and in some ways, less) than they had expected.

The adult hero of the film is former big-leaguer Mark Eichhorn, who is the team pitching coach and whose son Kevin is a star hitter and pitcher. Eichhorn seems to take it a lot less seriously than the other adults and, probably for that reason, the kids light up when he's around.

One snippet from the film stays with me. A comment by Tyler Raymond, who so earnestly says of the parents: Yes, they're great and yes, they want what's best for us. But sometimes they think they're part of the game. And they're not.

Four stars.

Rule one: It's not about the adults

This is a wise column from Tim Warsinskey, veteran high school sports writer for the Cleveland Plain Dealer. After covering prep games for 21 years, he offers parents 10 rules to live by, all worth considering.

I particularly echo rules 6 and 8.

Debbie Phelps to swim parents: Chill

(A longer version of this post appears at the Beacon Press blogsite.)

Not long ago, I spent some time in the principal’s office – about 45 minutes in a hardback chair, if I recall correctly.

I’ve been thinking about that visit and about the principal of Windsor Mill Middle School outside Baltimore, Debbie Phelps. Debbie will be in Beijing for the next two weeks for the Summer Olympics, which begin Friday. Her 23-year-old son, Michael, will be there too. Michael is the iconic American swimmer of whom much is expected by U.S. sports fans. He will be the favorite in every race he enters during the Summer Games. A record eight gold medals is a possibility. Fewer than six for Phelps would be a stinging disappointment. It’s a good thing Michael Phelps has the broadest shoulders on the planet. He’ll need them to carry those outsized expectations.

When I went to see Debbie, it was evident that I wasn’t speaking to just another sports mom. We spoke about a trip she was planning to see Michael swim. Rome or Vienna or someplace similarly distant. She mentioned her own literary project, a book she would be writing about her experiences poolside, a guide to raising a humble, well-adjusted world record holder.

In other ways, I was struck that her story was so utterly unexceptional.

She had three kids, Michael being the youngest. She and her then husband lived in rural Maryland in a home surrounded by five acres. “I got the kids involved in as much as I could: baseball softball, gymnastics, tap, ballet, scouts. Michael was never a scout. But the girls were scouts,” she told me.

The family belonged to a swim club. Debbie says the main attraction was for her children to learn water safety. She wanted them to conquer any fears early in life. In short order, the two girls were on the club swim team. Then champions. Then dreaming of the Olympics.

The Phelps sisters were such hotshots, a swim club in Baltimore more or less recruited them to join the swim team. Debbie shuttled them to practices with a new baby. Boy Michael spent hours, days, at the pool. “Michael grew up with the smell of chlorine. It was such a natural environment for him,” Debbie explained.


There’s more, obviously. I devote several pages to the Phelps family in my book.

As I sat with Debbie Phelps, I asked how she saw the role and responsibilities of a parent whose child is a superstar athlete. She told me that parents frequently approach her, asking the same thing. With a laugh, she also explained that they tell her she is a role model for them. Hard to say exactly what about Debbie they were modeling. Or maybe not so hard. My guess: raising the best swimmer in the world.

“People often wait around to speak with me, to ask questions. Like, “My son was 9 he was doing this, and when he was 11 his time was that. They’re looking for answers. I just say, parent your child. Love them for who they are, whether they swim the fastest(butter)fly or finish eighth in their heat.

“To me, there’s a very fine line between the athlete, coach and parent. Everyone has their roles. If you sat here right now and told me you’d give me $200 million to recite Michael’s world fly record, I could not tell you that. Yet there are parents whose child is trying to beat my son who can spit out those things. I don’t get involved in that. I talk to Michael as a parent.”

I asked Debbie what concerns her about the parents she runs into at swim meets.

The answer was somewhat impolitic. Yet it sounded like one that would come easily to a middle school principal. “They nag too much,” she said.

“They go to an athletic event and their kid isn’t doing their best time. They get upset with the child. They think that it always has to be better, better, better, better, not realizing that even for the most talented swimmers it’s a progression.”

“Parents just need to chill. Realize that it doesn’t help to set expectations, especially unrealistic ones. Put yourself in their shoes. Do you map things out so carefully in your own life? Such as, I am going to be CEO of a company? Does it fall out in nice little pockets? Same with kids. Their progression is not going to fall into nice little pockets. There may not be another Michael Phelps for decades, even though, I have parents tell me their son is on the same track.” As I left her office, I asked Debbie to let me know when her book was coming out, and told her I would very much like to read it. I suggested a publication date well after mine.