How pushing a kid can push a kid out of sports

I was a guest on Bloomberg Radio last week. A few days later, I received this wonderful note from former minor-league player Phil Rosengren.

My name is Phil Rosengren and I am a former minor league pitcher. I'm now the trader for a small hedge fund in CT, but I stay involved in the game by giving pitching lessons to young ballplayers on weekends. I've encountered my share of crazy baseball dads, and I often find myself asking who is really the one invested in this training, the young pitcher or the dad.

I was fortunate to go to Northwestern University on a baseball scholarship, was later drafted by the Cleveland Indians and went on to play 7 years in the minor leagues. But it almost didn't happen. When I was 10 years old I quit Little League. I was always an athletic kid who loved sports, but I was sensitive, and overzealous coaches, parents and players had taken the fun out of the game. I got back into organized baseball when I was 13 thanks to some careful coaxing from my parents. This time I was ready, and my love for pitching drove me to excel. Had my parents forced me to keep playing when I was 10 there's a good chance I would have rebelled and never wanted to pick up a baseball again. This is a story I often relate to parents and young players, particularly when parents come to me freaking out that their son isn't throwing strikes, wanting me to turn their 10 or 11 year old son into the next Roger Clemens.

Another concern I share is the rise of injuries among young pitchers. I had Tommy John surgery myself as a minor leaguer (performed by Dr. Andrews), and I'm sure much of the damage to my elbow was done in high school - a combination of being overworked and under-conditioned. I was first diagnosed with a sprained ligament when I was 18, but with rehab I was able to pitch again for several years before it finally gave out. One of the reasons I work with young pitchers is to teach them proper mechanics, conditioning, and hopefully give them the best shot at staying healthy and enjoying success on the mound for years to come. The tragedy is that the young pitchers with the most talent/potential are often the ones at highest risk of injury. Unfortunately, the growing trends towards travel ball and kids pitching more and more games at younger ages has only made matters worse.

I feel most of the time parents and coaches have good intentions, but there's clearly a need for education about the dangers of competitive youth sports, particularly specialization at a young age (I went to high school in the mid '90's, just before this trend really took hold, and was lucky to be able to play 3 sports, imagine that!).

Thanks for sharing, Phil. I've added you to our honor roll for pro athletes, past and present, who speak up about youth sports gone awry.

Fawcett takes issue with extreme sports parenting

Adding another name to the youthsportsparents honor roll. That is, a list that recognizes pro and Olympic athletes for speaking up about sports parenting taken to the extreme.

Joy Fawcett won two gold medals playing for the U.S. Olympic soccer team. Now she has three soccer-playing daughters, age 8, 12 and 15, who play competitively but mostly for fun.

In Saturday's San Jose Mercury News, Fawcett says she often (too often) sees many parents "stomping around on the sidelines." She told the paper, "Parents just go a bit crazy."

We know.

Fawcett was involved in starting a youth soccer club in Orange County, California. She's also an activist of sorts speaking about responsible sports parenting. On our list of outspoken athletes, she joins, among others, Dusty Baker, Wayne Gretzky, Joe Dumars and Mark Messier.

Dusty Baker to sports parents: Less is more

Now and then, we salute pro athletes doing something needed, important and too rare: calling out overly invested sports parents.

The list grows by one today. Here's Reds manager Dusty Baker, speaking at an event sponsored by the Positive Coaching Alliance, reminding parents that it's not a great idea to pull your child aside to offer a batting tip or pitching secret during a game.

Others pro athletes, coaches, executives who've recently offered similarly sage advice: Wayne Gretzky, Phil Jackson and Joe Dumars.

What pro athletes can teach us about youth sports

In the 1980s, I was a reporter for a newspaper in Baltimore assigned to cover the Baltimore Orioles. For eight months each year, I traveled with the team around the country, writing about what I witnessed at the ballpark and occasionally outside the ballpark. This is one of those outside-the-ballpark stories that has stuck with me.

Each season, the Orioles visited New York twice for series against the Yankees at Yankee Stadium. The players, manager, coaches - and us writers - stayed at the Grand Hyatt in Midtown. Some of the traveling party commuted to Yankee Stadium by chartered bus. Occasionally, I hopped on.

As we got close to Yankee Stadium, we got a view of a bunch of athletic fields. Always - in my memory, at least - they were crowded with kids, playing pick-up sports, running, jumping, batting, kicking. Mostly, having fun.

I remember something unexpected. As we approached the fields, heads turned. Conversations ended. Players suddenly (and shockingly, for me) were very interested spectators. I'm not sure what they were thinking. To me it felt like longing. Maybe even envy. (Ironic because the kids on those fields would have been feeling exactly the same things about the big-leaguers.)

What I took from this scene is pretty simple. Pro athletes, more than most of us, understand that sports can provide some of the most carefree moments in a child's life. They also understand that there's no rush about turning sports into a job. I haven't met too many professional athletes who thought travel teams for eight-year-olds was a brilliant idea.

For the past year, I've been keeping a tally of those who have been quoted about keeping sports fun for kids (and managing the ambitions of the coaches and parents). Here’s my list (including one mom): Billy Andrade and Brad Faxon (golf,), Mike Richter, Mark Messier and Wayne Gretzky (hockey), Joe Dumars and Phil Jackson (basketball), Debbie Phelps, mother of Michael (swimming), Tommy John and Jim Poole (baseball).

If you know of others, fill me in.

Joe Dumars: "Some of these parents need to stop."

I'm starting an honor roll for pro athletes who - to their everlasting credit - speak out about problematic adults. From hanging around locker rooms and batting cages as a sportswriter, I know that players who reach the top often shake their heads at the parents, coaches, others who mistake Little League for the big leagues. Not many speak publicly about it, though.

Let's recognize the ones who do. Already in the club:

Wayne Gretzky: "[E]verybody asks the same thing, 'Do you think my son can make pro?' The answer is, he's 15, just enjoy it. Just let them have fun."

Billy Andrade: "The problem lies in the money. If there were no prize at the end of the rainbow, would families be doing these things? I doubt it."

Today's honoree, Joe Dumars.

Here's what the former NBA star and current Detroit Pistons president recently told Bill Khan of the Flint Journal:

"Some of these parents need to stop. They need to stop and just let these kids be kids. When I go to Country Day games [his kid's high school team], on the road or at home, I find the farthest corner of the gym and I go and sit deep in the corner by myself and stay away."

More nominees? The floor is open.

The wisdom of Kelsey Twist and Wayne Gretzky

Former athletes - especially those who've played at the highest level - often are the best advocates for a saner, kid-centric approach to youth sports. When Wayne Gretzky advises parents to back off, let their children play for fun - as he did recently - adults tend to listen. Other pro athletes I have spoken with over the years - golfer Billy Andrade, baseball players Tommy John, Jim Poole, among them - have been equally outspoken.

Kelsey Twist played varsity lacrosse at Stanford, graduating a few years ago as one of the top players in school history. Now she teaches and coaches at a private school in Baltimore.

This op-ed written by Twist for the Baltimore Sun is an eloquent and disturbing statement of what has changed about youth sports - and the price of that change for young players.

Kelsey writes:

"While coaching, I often stop to consider my high school career at Roland Park Country School. I mostly remember face paint, spirit parades to Bryn Mawr, and tossing the ball around after practice until we couldn't see it any longer.

I do not remember stress fractures, personal trainers, lacrosse tournaments during basketball season, hiring a recruiting specialist to help me get into college, or paying outrageous dues to play on a club team.

I am left to ask: What happened to high school sports in the six years I've been gone? When did being a high school athlete become a job instead of a pastime?"

And Twist is writing about what, until recently, had been a regional and, in some respects, minor sport - lacrosse. Multiply by 10 and you are approaching the pressure on top high school basketball and football athletes.

Gretzky on youth hockey

This is a terrific piece from last Friday's Toronto Globe and Mail in which Wayne Gretzky speaks out about the overheated state of youth hockey. Basically, he advises parents to back off. Let kids enjoy the game. Encourage them to experiment with several sports. Gretzky says this is the approach he has taken with his five kids. And it was the way he grew up in sports.

"I know, for myself, when the hockey season was over, I couldn't wait to play baseball. I had no interest in playing ice hockey until September," he tells the Globe and Mail.

We need to hear this message from more pro athletes.

Thanks to Doug Abrams for tipping us to this article